Mothers of Missing

Please do not mistake my comments , or opinion , as anything other than jealousy. Yes. You read that right. Jealousy.
While "flipping through" various news sources a headline blared at me through my iPad screen and immediately reeled me in. "Mothers of the Missing"  screamed loudly. Finally!  Finally an article written to address the deep rooted pain and nightmare world our mother's of missing endure and one written by another, other than myself regarding the mom's we work with, nor written about any one singular mom grieving, but yet , from the blaring headline I could assume it was going to be about all the moms and what they share in common!  Woo hoo, my heart shouted! I quickly headed to the link eager to read the cases and stories told excited to know at least a number of moms will have needed media attention for their children.

As soon as the page loaded my eyes immediately caught the name "Jamie Lee Curtis, author."  Wow was all I could think! Wow oh wow, finally a celebrity speaking out regarding the pain moms of missing live each day! I was pretty sure she has never had a missing child, but maybe she knows a family with a missing loved one, or perhaps some lucky organization was able to secure her voice to represent their missing? Heaven knows we've tried for a number of years and have never been successful to gain a celebrity spokesperson !

I cannot tell you how fast my heart dropped nor the immediate feelings I got just emotionally putting myself in the place of what I'm sure hundreds of our moms feel, even if I could only relate for a very brief moment. Jealousy. The entire article was about the plight of the missing schoolgirls in Nigeria. Jamie Lee Curtis beaming as she held a sign #bringbackourgirls. My heart teetered from not sure if I should be upset, frustrated or sad? I won't lie here. I know I voiced a bit too loudly "What about our moms?" I know it was loud as my husband looked up at me from the Bruins vs Montreal Canadians game giving me that "Your-interrupting-my-game-and-may-jinx-my-score look." That's when I decided to write my feelings.

Now before anyone decides I deserve hate mail,
first let it be known that I've posted media accounts of the horrible crimes against the schoolgirls and all Nigerian mothers, whose daughters were abducted, probably long before I've seen Facebook posts and seeing political figures speaking out on the horror of these crimes. But that is not what bothers me, or shall I say makes me "jealous?"
What bothers me is day in and day out I see mothers of missing beg for media attention, beg Nancy Grace or Dateline to do stories, or even a mere mention, of their missing daughters and sons only to never be given the opportunity. I see beautiful missing who get hundreds, and sometimes thousands of shares, on Facebook and watch as others receive only a few.  I thought of all the moms I've talked with, hugged and listened to them through their tears, sobs and even their screams of pain over the years.
So I say this to Jamie Lee Curtis, while you only touched ever so briefly on the pain of what mothers of missing are going through, should you wish to have real insight...I am happy to introduce you to any of our moms of missing. Just not sure which first? My mom who refuses to take her diabetic medication as she feels guilty as her missing special needs daughter doesn't get hers? Or my mom who rarely sleeps for fear she'll miss the phone call that her son has finally been located safely? Perhaps I should have her talk with our mom who now enters 20 years of searching for her missing child? Maybe she would want to speak with our mom who knows her child was murdered and knows who murdered her child and yet waits for the day when her child's body is finally located, because those who know...won't tell? Or the mom who phones me each time a body is found wanting to know if I can get more info on the "human remains" than what media is reporting? Just in case it's her child.

I don't want this to be a slam against Jamie Lee Curtis because in fact I've always liked her. I guess the fact she had a beaming smile while holding the sign is what really bothered me, or maybe the fact that I sometimes question why so many are coming out for mom's of missing thousands of miles away ...when there are hundreds of moms right there in California that would have done anything to have her hold up a poster of their missing child?  Or maybe, just maybe I put myself in the place ,for a brief moment too long , and felt what most of my mothers of missing felt. Jealousy.

Prayers for all mothers of missing, and certainly the same prayers for the Nigerian moms. No mother on earth should ever have to feel such pain and to be in limbo, and broken hearted.

Cynthia Caron
President-Founder
LostNMissing Inc.